Is not that we imagine the other as we need it? is not that the pedestal on which we put it avoids the real contact? is not that we suffer endlessly when it drops, because what you lose are the dreams?Lost dreams is like let us blow over, and that produces lots sadness. Olga Pujadas whole mountain is oregano. Not all that glitters is gold. It is not love everything what we call as well. Millions of relationships are nothing but terribly neurotic symbiosis, wars of power, confusion of narcissistic delusions. Countless people feel tied to others simply by this fantasy: you dream tailor-made for me so I stupidly.
And as this madness cannot operate, they soon roaring hell. Falling in love is, we already know that, idealize the other, suprimirde our perception most of his qualities and defects. Idealize is attributed to the other traits that does not have, but that we would need that I had to feel saved. Idealize is, finally, invent other to meet our needs. We do unconsciously, of course. But this fiasco usually call it love or infatuation.
What happens then? Reality always disillusioned (thankfully!) to the naive. Your beloved to not turns out to be, not even close, as she had Felix. East/always has, logically, other forms of feeling, other ways of thinking, other plans and desires and, what is worse, a will and life of their own. It’s almost a stranger! Thus begin the problems, which will be adults or minors according to the maturity and emotional health of everyone. The disillusioned / as more neurotic immediately accuse the other for not meeting their self-centred expectations. Far from accepting his own error, punished relentlessly to his victim submitting it to all sorts of indignities: complaints without end, brave, critical, emotional blackmail, manipulations, controls or simply violence. It drives them to the invincible tantrum child leave me with mine and fantasy – another time – convert someday another / a in the mental crutch they need what Mirage! Because, well, just get neurotizarse increasingly more themselves, their partners and their children. However, despite the situation unbearable, the disillusioned / to not usually relinquish his broken toy! The other person will withstand voltage according to your own level of self esteem and masochism. Or will return the blows from their respective fantasies dashed in a pathetic struggle of gladiators intended, both, to exhaustion. Unaware combatants that love is not obligatory. That nobody owns anybody. That no one can change anyone. Nobody does more than allowing his neurosis. That nothing is farther from the love that demands and manipulative cares about others. And that maturity consists precisely in respect – we like the identity of the couple or not-, and separate us quietly from it if we are not happy. The nightmare ends, in Finally, when the strongest of the unfortunates manages to abandon the sordid trifulca of cudgels. ** I do my thing and you do yours. I am not in this world to fill your expectations. And you’re not in this world to fill the mine. You are you and I am me. And if by chance we find ourselves, it is beautiful. If not, you can not be remedied.